[Even more] funny one liners.

• I intend to live forever, or die trying.
• Optimism: Waiting for a ship to come in when you haven't sent one out.
• To ensure perfect aim, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.
• A train station is where the train stops. A bus station is where the bus stops. On my desk, I have a work station...
• Why do our noses run and our feet smell?
• Early to bed, early to rise makes people suspicious.
• If you're too open minded, your brains will fall out.
• A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.