Kids say the funniest things!

My friend and I created a Quotes by Kids Twitter account a couple years ago, but I might be deleting it so I wanted to post what we had on here. We worked at a Before and Aftercare program with grades K-5.

They're pretty funny, not gonna lie.

1. "I am thankful for my Mom because she borned me." - 1st grader
2. "I want rocks for Christmas so I can throw them at teenagers." - 1st grader
3. "I am thankful for my family and friends and ants." - 1st grader
4. "One day my Mom got a speeding ticket. I don't know what for. I was still in her tummy." - Kindergartener
5. "My first true love was my Mommy." - 1st grader
6. "My Mom tried to make a cookie, but it turned into a brownie!" - 1st grader
7. "Once I heard Santa land on my roof. But I was asleep." - 1st grader
8. "His haircut only looks good on him when he wears jeans." - 3rd grader
9. "Ow, my nuts." - 1st grader
10. "If I was stranded on a desert island, I would take a shell, a very pretty shell, and a very beautiful shell." - 1st grader
11. "I don't know how to play free play." - 1st grader
12. "That was a long day ago. Like when I was 4 or 3." - Kindergartener
13. "Mommy's turning 32, but she's going back to 29." - Kindergartener
14. "Randall's here. He's my Mom's friend. He's homeless." - 2nd grader
15. "In preschool, she knew about me being her boyfriend so I don't have to tell her." - Kindergartener
16. "Love is icky, red, slimy stuff." - 3rd grader
17. "She's a big trouble maker. Actually, we're taking her to the Doctor and a therapist." - 3rd grader
18. "When you smile, that means you're lying." - 1st grader
19. "I have the same bladder as my Mom." - 2nd grader
20. "My Mom had to put make-up on that's why I'm late." - Kindergartener
21. "Today's tomorrow right?" - Kindergartener